Sunday, 21 July 2013

IN TODAY'S TOUGH MP3 ECONOMY, DOES HAVING A FRONTWOMAN = MAD BANK? PT 2

(This is Part 2 of a 2 Part Think Piece about monetising a band situation.)

Sup, y'all.
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You may remember this post where we investigated the current MP3 economy in today's modern world. Bands trying to promote a new product for our consumption must do whatever it takes to get THEIR MP3 onto OUR MP3 playing device. 
From what I understand, 'sex sells'; but is this also true of the music industry? Let's not forget that most record labels currently have an annual turnover of between £50 to £100 per annum - if at all - so 'no stone can be left unturned' in the search for money. 
Let's continue, hmmm?

ALL GIRL LINE UP:
(Haim.)
Obviously this act cannot be taken seriously and will forever be judged upon their wardrobe, their attractiveness, and the content of their bras over their MP3s.

1 GUY / ALL GIRL LINE UP: 
(The Hole.)
This situation is very similar to the G&R situation in that it's mainly 'The Courtney <3 Show'. Not sure whether to feel envious or 'glad' that I'm not the 1 guy. #worried.  

GIRL MAJORITY:
(S Club 7.)
Sort of feel that this is a 'scattergun' approach - trying to cover as many bases / tween demographics as possible. (I would like to 'cum' with Tina 7.)

BOY MAJORITY:
(Fleetwood Mac.)
In many ways Papa Mac transcends the traditional gender divide by having several members married to one another. Is this the optimum situation?

1 GIRL / ALL GUY LINE UP:
((Local band) Hero.)
In many ways this is 'The Golden Ticket'. Women can project themselves into the situation ("That could be me.") and men can enjoy #erection.  

ALL BRO LINE UP:
(90% of bands.)
This is 'the meat and 2 veg'. Traditional all-male bands are 'the backbone' of our MP3 economy. Unfortunately, it can be confusing to know which product is which (due to saturation). 
Last night, there were x3 all-male bands; I can't remember any of their names. 
I think one had a number in? :-( sadface. 

Q&A

Which broad from S Club 7 made YOUR special place FEEL?
Should all-male bands outsource some of their touring duties (backing vocals / tambourine / merchandise stand situation) to a woman in order to increase market share?
Should women be allowed to create MP3s or is this the responsibility of men?

CONCLUSION:


We can all agree that online piracy is a victimless crime.

We all have needs, wants, and basic human rights which must be accommodated. MP3s - although not vital to our survival like a stable broadband connection or food - are very important to our survival in today's modern world.
It is completely unacceptable for bands to expect payment in exchange for MP3s; instead they must offer us only their cleanest MP3s so that we may consume them 'a la carte' / Tapas.
Bands must try to monetise their situation by lucrative sponsorship deals / T Shirt sales / fancypants vinyl EP / limited edition trinket.

Women contribute lots to our MP3 economy. 
Come. Let us rejoice:


  • Posters to hang in tween bedrooms.
  • Emotive vocals (possibly delivered in a whispy, raspy tone or through the reverb machine. These sounds can take us all away from our mundane lives in the cotton fields 'stocking shelves at Tesco' - to a cabin retreat in the Mountains of Idaho, cuddling on a bearskin rug and discussing the very serious situations in Darfur / Afghanistan war).


(This has been Part 2 of a 2 Part Think Piece about monetising a band situation.)

Take care of y'allselves.
<3 heart symbol.

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