His evenings are filled with push ups, strange illuminate rituals, and probs keeping a diary / journal. In many ways he's the sun chasing the moon; he want's Joe public to like him but also has a deep disdain for The Common Man (9-5 hours / -£20'000 salary / +10% body fat).
I am familiar with the following Tom Cruise films:
- Cocktail - A cool man.
- Top Gun - Homosexual undertones / promoting America.
- Interview With The Vampire Man - Not Brad Pitt vampire.
- Minority Report / Oblivion / Live. Die. Repeat - Miscellaneous Sci Fi.
- I Am A Samurai - A cool man. Sex with Asians.
- Valkyrie - Hitler?
- Mission Impossible - Tom Cruise.
In many of the above ^^^ major motion pictures there are the following themes:
- Seducing misc broads.
- Inconsequential murder of misc extras.
- Dedication to The Way (Sci Fi biz / mysterious biz).
- Being cool [via expositional dialogue / not conforming with The Man).
Feeling worried about Tom Cruise. For example, I feel he'd be adverse to me calling him 'Big T', or 'T' - but he'd be totes onboard with my calling him 'Papa T'. I feel in my womb that he'd be kewl with me hanging out with him in the VIP lounge (letting him pay for everything) but would get pissypants about my being taller and passive aggressively tell me to sit on a lower chair. He'd show me how high he could do a roundhouse kick like in the middle of Tesco, knocking all the special offer Dolmio sauce to the floor, but then help the minimum wage bro clean up the mess and upload a photo to Twitter Bird [via the common touch]. Do you know what I mean?
Anyways, I recently came across some behind the scenes footage / propaganda of him doing some redonk stunts for the new Mission Impossible film. From what I understand he's hanging off a plane - similar to him hanging from the Muslim building circa 2010. Worried. As self aware content consumers living in The 1st World, can we in all honesty trust this promotional material? We're all familiar enough with green screen shenanigans that we can spot an attack ship on fire off the shoulder of Orion as easily as we can spot the ted in Ted. Is he just paying some bro to do this biz for him? In our post-Prometheus world can we really trust any promo material anymore?
As we previously discussed, Tom Cruise cares little for Average Joe - so why should he court our opinion hmmm?
We, as tech savvy content consumers living in the 1st World, must be sceptical of all art forms - be that a Flash Mob celebrating transgender situations or a cup cake sale promoting the Gaza Strip meme.
Does Papa T do his own films or does he just pay some bro to do 'the heavy lifting' [via Kate Moss body double]?
Are flair barmen fucking bullshit [via serve the drink already]?
What's your fav <3 Papa T film?
Is Will Smith an albino Tom Cruise?
I quite liked the Day After Tomorrow / Live. Die. Repeat. (Not really a question.)
Remain self aware, y'all.